Brock Lesnar and Goldberg meet ahead of WrestleMania

Brock Lesnar’s music hits, and he makes his way to the ring to a nice reception alongside his advocate, Paul Heyman. A loud “ECW” chant fires up. Heyman says, “Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Paul Heyman, and I proudly serve as the advocate for the extremist who shall derail Goldberg’s Ultimate Thrill Ride this Sunday at WrestleMania, Brock Lesnar.” Heyman starts to speak, but he’s cut off by a “Goldberg” chant. It then transitions into a “Suplex City” chant. Heyman says there is a difference of opinion. This Sunday, Goldberg enters into WrestleMania as the WWE Universal Champion. Heyman says that means he’s the one centerpiece of Monday Night RAW. Lesnar wants and needs that title. His client lusts after that title. Goldberg has that title. So many other have tried – Sting tried to pull off what Goldberg has accomplished. Where Sting fell short, Goldberg rose to the occasion with dominance and destruction. Goldberg has his respect, admiration, and compliments. Goldberg is a real life superhero. Goldberg is truly the man… but his client, Brock Lesnar, is the beast. This beast will chew him up and spit him out like nothing anyone has seen before. Really bad things happen to authentic superheroes when they step into the ring with Brock Lesnar.

How does it all end? What is the denouement to this epic saga? Heyman wants to elucidate. They need a reason to subscribe to the WWE Network or buy a seat on a secondary market. Heyman says, “Oh Bill, this Sunday at WrestleMania, you are going to Suplex City where Goldberg’s check in, but they don’t check out.” A light “Goldberg” chant fires up. Heyman says that’ll be the last “Goldberg” chant on RAW. They should rename the show to WrestleMania 33: Death to Superheroes. Heyman starts to give him Catholic rites, but realizes Goldberg is Jewish like himself. Heyman then does a Jewish burial rite. Lesnar doesn’t fear the spear because Goldberg can’t survive the F-5.

Goldberg’s music hits, and the cameras go backstage to watch him making his way through the hallways looking intense. Goldberg comes out to the ramp and says people did not come to hear them talk. They came to see them fight. Since he can’t take everyone from Philly to WrestleMania, they should bring some WrestleMania to Philly. Lesnar meets him at ringside, and Goldberg viciously spears him down on the floor! Goldberg gets in the ring and holds up the Universal Title. 

Lesnar clutches his ribs in pain and gasps for air while Goldberg celebrates in the ring.